Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Fall has arrived. My absolute favorite season here in good old New Jersey. It’s like candy for the eyes with all the leaves changing beautiful colors.
And with fall comes so much change. A time that always has me reflecting on what was, what is, and what’s to come. And I wanted to share my reflection in this newsletter.
In July 2022 my life turned completely around. I unexpectedly found out I was losing my job, visa, and life I had built for 4 years in Spain. Just when things were starting to look up again after 2 years of chaos. I had finally made surf friends. Festivals started back up. I built the confidence to play guitar and sing on the boardwalk. That bold experience led to performing my own concert at the expat bar. And that led to the owner wanting me to play weekly throughout the year, paying me a decent amount of money. Things were definitely looking up, finally!
And then…I lost it all. My job was taken from me. My visa was gone. And instead of coming home to New Jersey to visit my parents for a few weeks before returning to Spain, I was staying for good. I hadn’t lived at home since high school, 13 years ago. Wow.
Ever since being back I’ve been challenged. Every day someone new would ask me, “What are you doing?” And the truth was, I had no clue. I was just trying to live the life I had dreamed for myself. But it seemed to be getting harder and harder to do that with each passing day.
I applied for jobs. It’s now been two years, and I still have no job. I reached out to my friends and other professionals on LinkedIn, implementing every one’s advice. I restructured my resume. Built a portfolio. Applied, applied, and applied some more. Over two years I haven’t had even a single interview. I was fighting every single ounce of being back in my home town. I felt like I put too much work into pursuing my dreams, that I couldn’t just accept being home. Nothing was working for me.
But I realized that was part of my problem. Failing to accept. Just the last month I still found myself holding regret and anger toward Spain. How I would do anything to go back, but also, angry at how my job and life was taken away from me without even a warning. And I started thinking, Spain isn’t an option for me at the moment. And I’m here, at home with my wonderful parents, surrounded by family, friends, a beautiful town, nature. Sure, it isn’t exactly where I want to be in my life, especially more than two years, but here I am.
So instead of fighting it, I decided to finally accept it. I have nothing to complain about. And that led me to gratitude. Saying thanks for everything that I have right now. And the hard work that I’ve put in ever since getting back from Spain to pursue Book Coaching.
I’m still on the search for a job. But I’m also not going to sit around and wait. I worked with a Life Coach last year who pushed me to pursue my own Book Coaching business. This had also been stressing me out lately. It has been a lot of work juggling these different routes and still finding time to write my books, play my music, and stay sane. I want to become independent again, ideally with my Book Coaching business.
But then I took a step back after this period of accepting. I met with a friend who I grew up with who is now pursuing his own wellness business. He reminded me to look where I was last year and compare it to this year. I started this Book Coaching with nothing. No clients. No website. Unsure of everything.
And now, a year later, I have coached more than ten clients. Made money I never thought I’d ever make for doing something I love and helping others achieve their own dreams of writing a book. And now I can finally answer that dreadful question of, “What are you doing?”
Just the other day, a friend’s mom pulled out of a random driveway on my walk around the corner from my house. I still have no clue why she was there in that moment, she doesn’t live anywhere near there. She rolled down the window, and the first thing out of her mouth was, “Are you teaching?????”
I said, “No.”
She said, “Oh, well then what are you doing?”
Deep down I thought, why the heck does everyone care so much! But instead of that I said, “Book Coaching.”
And she was so thrilled by my response.
This is why I’m back in my hometown. To be tested. Two years ago I had no clue what I was doing and freaked out when people constantly asked me that question. Now, I can say it with confidence, “I’m a Book Coach.”
My wellness coach friend told me just the other day that words have energy. The words you put out into the universe have an affect on your journey. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of fighting and stressing. The change I want to make is to put out words of confidence, acceptance, gratitude, and kindness. To make those around me smile and laugh and to make sure I give them my all. I’m confident I will get to where I need to be in my life. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t enjoy everything else that happens before I get there.
So, what kind of words do you want to put out into the universe?
Have you been thinking about writing a book (or song) and don’t know where to start? Or maybe you’re an experienced writer who has felt stuck and overwhelmed with a writing project? I’d be happy to talk it out with you over a FREE Discovery Call.